The Butterfly's Effect
by WonderRand
Summary: It was all his choice and therefore his fault. An Epidemic/Zombie fanfiction which will probably end up a Dystopia. GakuLuka and KaiMei, other minor shipppings might be implied. Characters: Gakupo, Luka, Kaito, Meiko, Len, Rin, Miku, Gumi, Yuuma, Big al, and slight mention of Oliver. KaiMei chapter up!
1. Chapter 1

It was all his choice and therefore his fault.

"Dr. Kamui, Luka-san is here to see you." The young nurse announced, cheerful as ever, tucking a short lock of messy green hair behind her ear.

"Ah, right. I'll be there in a moment." The young doctor looked up and answered, his eyes shining with glee, with the silly smile he couldn't hide whenever he thought of his fiancée, Luka, before he went back to continue typing the results of their latest research. Every time Luka was mentioned in front of him, his heart would flutter inside his chest and he would gain an instant mood boost. She was his sunshine, his future wife, and his whole life.

As he finished typing and clicked the save icon, he turned off his laptop immediately and dashed through the double door, muttering a 'Please excuse me, I'll be back in a minute' on his way. The young doctor speeded through the corridors impatiently, ignoring the crowds of doctors trying to talk to him, the medical talk could wait, but his talk with Luka couldn't, not after the message she had sent him today.

Finally the corridors seemed to come to an end, and a pink figure vaguely appeared in his vision, a few more steps and he was there, in the busy waiting room where the loud cries of the incoming patients and the noise of those who came to visit, check something up, or to study could almost deaf him, but today he didn't pay any attention to the racket, he could only hear her mutter a " _Morning, doc'_ " which sent some sort of satisfying feeling through his whole body; it was his daily morning dose of honey.

"Luka dear, haven't I told you not to visit the hospital before? What if you catch a sickness?!" The long haired doctor reproached, holding hands with the pink-haired lady.

"Oh look at yourself! There you are trying to blame me although you deeply know you want me to be around you all day long." The young woman called Luka blinked and stuck her tongue out a little bit, mischievously. "you're holding hands with me already!" She laughed. "haven't we agreed not to mix work with personal matters? Wasn't that your suggestion, Doc' ?"

"It's not fair, you have me under your charm!" He half-complained, "I love you Luka, I only want to make sure you stay as healthy as you are, it's because I care about you that I don't want you to hang out around here a lot, specially for…him." He hesitated before he finished, slightly touching Luka's stomach, his hand trembling with the joy that he couldn't contain, and his jaw hung open as he searched for more words to say but found nothing. He shook his head at the young woman, unable to believe that he was actually going to be a father.

"him? They're only 11 weeks old, you can't be so sure! It could be a she, doctor Gakupo!" Luka smiled pressing his hand slightly against their awaited child.

"Come on, quit it with the 'doctor' already, the baby will be afraid of me! Currently, I am Gakupo the dad, not the doctor." He announced, a proud smile shining along with his eyes. "But why didn't you inform me earlier?".

"Well, dad, I wanted to make sure before I could break out such life changing news to you, besides," The pinkette paused, scratching her head and choosing her words carefully before she spoke again "I…sort of didn't know whether this was something you wanted or not, I don't know if you're ready for something this huge! I don't know if you're ready to form a family! I-I don't know! That's why I decided to let you know in a text message first, I could just say that I was kidding if you didn't like it. What if you weren't really serious with me?! wha-what if you-" she stuttered but was soon silenced with a quick kiss from her lover.

"A he, a she, a twin, a triple, I am already in love with all of our children. And of course, their mama." Gakupo quietly said, wrapping his arms softly around Luka's waist. "I will take the rest of the day off. Let's go somewhere and have a talk." Luka nodded at the doctor who was now talking with a blue-haired male nurse.

* * *

Somehow, as the couple walked out, their feet ended up leading them to the nearby park where they used to spend their times when they were still high school students. It was almost empty like it had always been, dipped in gold as the sun rays warmed it, and full of so many memories and feelings. Their first date, first kiss, first love, and now first child. So many firsts did the park host.

Gakupo watched his fiancée dance her way to their usual swing under the big oak tree they had carved their initials on long ago, the cool breeze gently playing with her long salmon-pink tresses, and pressing her white summer dress against her knees, as so many flashbacks played inside his mind, but he chose to ignore them for the time being and enjoy the present.

Luka sat on the left side of the swing and he quickly joined her. She rested her head on his shoulder closing her eyes and sighed. "This place triggers so many happy memories that I'll treasure for the rest of my life."

"And it'll record more of our happy memories. We'll take our child here and play together, and once they're old enough we'll tell them how important is this park to us, how we sat here one day to take some time off of the fast paced life and enjoy the peace, planning for the baby, perhaps thinking of what will we name them, of how I have to cut down on my working hours to take more care of the baby and mother, how we also planned out our wedding party, there are so many things to discuss…"

"We…did plan?" Luka's aquamarine eyes flickered staring into his eyes. "A small wedding party after the baby is born and old enough perhaps?".

"Anything you wish." Gakupo kissed her forehead assuring.

"I wish I could fly." She mumbled sarcastically, but Gakupo did not hesitate to make her wish come true. He was not a lamp genie, but he could place his hands on Luka's delicate waist and pull her up in the air, and that was close enough wasn't it?

"Whaaaat?! Let me down I was just kidding!" Luka squealed , kicking in the air.

"Nope. Luka wishes, Luka gets." He answered her sprinting and spinning around with Luka in his hands, their long hair locks twirling around them in so many mixed shades of pink and purple. Gakupo finally let Luka down to land gracefully on the floor as his arms got exhausted.

"Can't…go on…'ny more." He barely spoke, panting.

"That's what you get for trying desperately to show your muscles, and for scaring Luka…but I admit, it was fun, let's do it again some time." Luka said nonchalantly crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Hai hai, Waifu-chan!"

"Wifu chan? For real?" the pinkette young lady couldn't hold back her laughter. "you always come up with such weird things, but hey, at least that was better than your medical pick-up lines that are beyond my comprehending."

"No! medical pick-up lines are the best!" Gakupo pouted.

"Hear that dear? Hear it?" Luka asked rubbing her belly. "Your father there is a younger child than you'll ever be!"

"Which reminds me," Gakupo started "Please try to not visit me at the hospital again okay? It's really more dangerous than what you think. If not for you then do it for me, if not for me then for the baby! I am currently doing a research on a certain case, a patient who's been…you can say in a coma, for two months, she is infected with an incredibly powerful type of virus…"

"Oh no, here we go again with Mr.I-am-neither-paranoid-nor-obsessed-at-all. Go on please." Luka interrupted, but all ears.

"This virus seems to be able to cross the blood-brain barrier easily, but that's not just it. It seems to e able to selectively infect the areas in the human brain that are in charge of self awareness and voluntary acts, and the effects can't be reversed. It's unable of killing a person, but it does leave them as good as dead. An empty body with no sense of self, and no ability to do anything on its own. Doctors have never witnessed such a virus before, and they are hoping to be able to find out how it selects its targeted cells so that they can potentially use that method to approach other neurological diseases and perhaps tumors. We decided to name the virus PV0, or Phantom Virus 0, because it can not be clinically detected until it had already infected the brain cells and started affecting them. I personally think…wait, you're actually listening?!" Gakupo asked awed at how she was listening so intensively.

"Yup, memorized every word. I like science as well, it's just that I…thought we were on some kind of date, not a lecture." Luka answered, a bit of disappointment in her voice. "but it's alright, I realize that it's what you like to do, but viruses aren't exactly romantic, this is time off, remember?" She faked an angry expression, and the exploded laughing.

"I'm sorry waifu-chan! Let's go have coffee somewhere, we need to think of possible names for the baby. Is that romantic?"

"Er, better than viruses!" She winked.

Was he being a bad fiancé, or even a worse father? Gakupo couldn't tell, but he was most likely a good doctor, and that was exactly where the problem lied. He was being mean and unfair to Luka that way. He needed to find some sort of balance between his job and his 'family'. One sad or disappointed look of her eyes was enough to make him suffer greatly. He could not offer to displease her, not even slightly. She gave him her all and was his reason to smile, and he had to do the same for her too at the very least.


	2. Chapter 2

It was just another day for Gumi. She woke up at six like usual, had a quick breakfast, put on her clothes, and headed to the hospital. Like every other day, she would spend her morning checking patients' vital signs; body temperature, blood pressure, pulse and breathing rate, chatting with them, asking them how they were doing -not that she actually minded but quite the opposite; she actually enjoyed it-, and bringing them food for breakfast, and once she finishes she would head to the main lab, were she would finally get a glimpse of **_him,_** that certain someone.  
 ** _  
_**There was something about him, something very soothing and relaxing. He was the most loving, caring, and selfless being in her whole world. The way he tends to his patients, the way he helps them and how much he cares about them, how he manages to keep up with both his patients and the laboratory work, it was something out of this world. He was everything she had ever dreamed of; someone who is smart, handsome, good hearted and dedicated to his work, selfless, and caring; Someone who made his choice to become a doctor just to help people, aware of all the pressure and the responsibility he was going to lift on his shoulders for the rest of his life; The superhero she was too scared to become, knowing that it was a job with people's lives on the line, right in the palm of the doctor's hand; The very definition of the perfect prince charming she had pictured in her head since she was a child; that inhumanly perfect man.

Like every day, she would help him with whatever tasks he would assign to her, which were usually of high importance. He must have really trusted her to let her into the lab team in the first place, let alone handle such important tasks in his research. She would try to smile at him with all her love, be as nice to others as he was nice to them, and try to accompany him to learn from his experience as a perfect doctor how she could become a better nurse, but he would never notice her presence for he was always so busy working, but most notably for he was already taken.

That young woman, Luka or whatever, who visits the hospital almost daily to get to talk to him for a minute or two, was the lucky one to be his fiancée.  
It only broke Gumi's heart further, but Dr. Kamui had every right to choose Luka over her; she was older, prettier, more confident, and she had such a charming personality to complete the picture. She also wasn't employed which seemed more convenient for her and her baby on its way, while Gumi was a busy nurse who was by his side all day, invisibly supporting him whether emotionally or in his research from the shadows, and yet he would never see her as more than a hospital colleague.

How she hated that Luka woman and her coming baby! However, since that same woman was the only one who could make Dr. Kamui smile or take his mind off the hospital for a while, she had to love her at the same time. Whenever she saw that magical smile of his, she would be captured in the traps of his love and fall for him all over again, all her hatred and jealousy would fade away, and she would become thankful instead that he had someone by his side to make him smile and keep him sane under all the pressure of his work. She was thankful for Luka, the only person in the world who she couldn't tolerate and the only reason of her happiness at the same time; a bitter kind of happiness, but it was happiness nonetheless.

today was no exception. The pink haired woman came by to talk to her fiancé too. Gumi called him and secretly followed him as he went to meet her, like she always did. She wasn't the stalker type, or so she told herself, but she didn't want to miss the one time at the day when he would smile and talk so free of worries.

However, something was irking her today. Luka was scanning the place with her eyes every so often, did she feel that someone was staring at them? Afraid that she would look suspicious, or worse; get caught red-handed, Gumi passed by the couple, smiled and waved at them. " 'Morning, Luka-san!" she said with fake excitement, throwing a hasty glance at doctor Kamui's gentle eyes, soft features, and pretty smile, as she sprinted towards the cafeteria to get herself a chocolate cappuccino.

"But you won't believe it! We found out as we did more experiment that this virus isn't infectious when it passes through the airways! It can only infect someone if it could enter their bloodstream, just like HIV, and-" Gumi could hear him explain to his fiancée, before that vicious lady interrupted him, ignoring his excitement:

"Gakupo, please! I'm not here for science this time so save the lecture for later. Let's go for a quick walk,please. Pregnant or not, your lover needs to be in shape to deserve you." Luka winked at him, causing Gumi to gag mentally.

How dare she interrupt him? To deserve Dr. Kamui, that woman needed much more than just staying in shape. Instead of being grateful for being blessed with such a great partner, she was complaining and hurting him! Gumi couldn't stand that thought. If only she was the one instead of her, she would have never interrupted him, making him happy would have been her number one goal, but unfortunately, that could only happen in her imagination.

"Yo." A voice diverged her train of thoughts as she started sipping her cappuccino.  
"Kaito!" the green-haired nurse called to her friend, patting the chair next to her at the table she had chosen to sit at. It was a table for two, in a warm spot beside a very large window, the sun rays were warming the place nicely, just the right amount of sun. soft chatter could be heard but the place was calm and quiet overall.

Kaito accepted her offer gladly and sat down, stuffing a mouthful of ice cream into his mouth.

"stalking Kamui again?" Kaito asked the flustered young nurse in front of him, playfully. They were best of friends so it wasn't weird that he noticed such a detail about her.

"Eh? Wha-what got into your mind? Me? Stalking Dr. Kamui? pffft, you have a sick sense of humor!" Gumi snorted, looking away from her friend's face.

"yeaaah, right. Right." Kaito nodded his head. "So you don't secretly stare at him whenever you can or give death glares to his fiancée."

"I don't give her the death glare!" Gumi objected.

"But the rest you do, don't you?" Gumi's hands balled into fists as she exhaled silently.

"Just a friendly advice, don't be mad at me, but I think you should try to let go. It will only hurt you if you keep clinging to a wish that you know will never come true. Kamui has his life well-planned in front of him and he's ready to get married and settle down." Kaito looked her in her eyes sincerely, and with a lot of care.

"I know. I just can't get it out of my heart. I can't control my feelings, but I think it will fade away with time, because I fully know that I don't stand a chance. I don't even want to try to talk to him. He's about to become a father anyway, so I can't even possibly think of it. Thank you for being so considerate." Fade away with time? What nauseating kind of joke was that?!

"Well, I hope you find a better person than him, someone who would love you back."

"Says the idiot who's never experienced what it feels like to love or be loved." Gumi sighed.

"We're pathetic, let's stop this depressing chat immediately." Kaito chuckled, his voice muffled with all the ice cream in his mouth. Gumi laughed at the sight of her friend.

"I can't help but feel bad about the patient we're conducting research on with doctor Kmaui." Kaito's voice suddenly changed into a darker tone.

"But why? We're not doing experiments on her or something! We're merely studying her case, and using blood and virus samples from her body for tests. We're not by any means hurting her! On the contrary, we, nurses, are keeping her alive with the IV drips and tests and all, and doctor Kamui alongside the other doctors is trying to find a cure, a vaccine, or anything to save people by further understanding how PV0 works. "

"I know, that's not what I meant. It's just that she's merely 37 years old, she had a lot in front of her…I wonder how she got this weird virus in the first place. She has two children, living alone now that their father left them. I wonder how are they coping with everything. Well, anyway, she's not the first sick person in the world and she won't be the last" Kaito sighed, clearly still a bit worried.

"What? she has kids? And why did their father leave them? Tell me everything!" Gumi asked, suddenly seeing the whole situation from a very different perspective.

"Yes. Her name is Lily Kagamine, not sure what her maiden name is but that doesn't matter right now. She has a twin, a girl and a boy, probably fourteen or fifteen years old. Rumor has it her husband gave her up for medical research since she almost has no chance of recovery, then he traveled somewhere leaving the two kids alone. Some say he was too attached to her, and when this happened it broke his heart so much he couldn't bring himself to see her or their children again, but if you ask me, I think that's nonsense. Nobody does something so awful in the name of love. If you loved someone you'd be loyal to them, he has to take care of the twin at the very least. I say he might be afraid of catching the virus himself. Or perhaps he's the unfaithful type, he must have met a new woman by now and is starting to think of forming a new family…Wait a second, Gumi, are you okay?"

Gumi nodded, rubbing her eyes. Her face was red like a tomato, and she was having trouble to keep silent.  
"I'm fine."

"Just when you'd think you've seen it all. Do you always cry like that when you learn about a patient's life?" Kaito asked, offering her a tissue.

"Well, yes, sort of." Gumi chuckled, wiping the tears left on her face. "specially when there are children in the story. That was one of the reasons why I decided to become a nurse instead of a doctor. I'm not strong enough. I can't handle pressure, responsibility, or this."

"No! you are strong. You're just too kind to be a doctor, little sister." Kaito patted her head.

"I haven't been to the lab today yet, but I have just heard that the virus can't infect anyone through the airways. Don't you think it's safe for us to invite the children to have a look at their mother? Dr. Kamui didn't allow visits at first because he was afraid of this virus spreading out of the hospital, but now since we know it's relatively safe to be near Lily, why don't we suggest that to the doctors? The children must be terrified! The poor souls will surely want to see their mother, won't they?"

"I say that's… an awesome idea! I'm just not sure if it will help the children or make them feel worse, but if I were in their place I would've wanted to be able to see my mother at least. We should discuss this further with the doctors, what do you think?" Kaito asked.

"yeah, Let's do it! There's doctor Kamui!" Gumi exclaimed pointing at the purple-haired doctor walking towards them. "His fiancée must have left. Let's talk to him right now."

"Here we go again." Kaito muttered to himself, observing the shorter nurse all excited from seeing the laboratory head.

* * *

Just wanted to let you know that each chapter will focus on a different character, and every character will at least get a chapter for them.

what do you think of the story so far?

Thank you for reading. Specaial thanks to those who reviewed, followed, or favourited, namely: DiamondRin, and purpleYumi.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for reading the previous chapters. Special thanks for BlondiePsycho, and purpleYumi.

* * *

Chapter 3 :

"Rin, please, just let me answer the phone!" Her twin brother begged, resting the palm of his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm the storming blond girl down.

"No! I already told you it's from the hospital! Don't you understand?! The hospital, you fool! What good could be coming from that call?! It's **_my_** phone! Just leave me be!" She sobbed loudly holding onto her cellphone, tears streaming down her face like the rainiest night in the darkness of winter.

"Let me answer the damned phone, you nutjob!" Len yelled at her, holding onto her arms and shaking her back and forth violently. "Give me your phone!"

"Why?! So that they could tell us that our mother had died?! So that they could ask us the same old questions for the one hundredth time?!" Rin snapped at him, pain fueling her rage. She took a breath and continued screaming at the top of her lungs, with a disgusted expression on her childish face, mimicking the voice that always calls them from the hospital:" 'Had the patient traveled anywhere in the last few days before she was infected? Was she in touch with any animals? Was she on any drugs? Was she involved in an intimate relationship? Had she taken part in any rituals or activities that require breaking skin?' Was the patient an alien?! Did she worship Satan?! What the hell, Len, I don't want to answer the same questions every time they call, I don't want to hurt all over again!" Her voice broke and she collapsed on the floor, wailing and sobbing, incomprehensible words escaping her burning throat.

Len himself wasn't any tougher than her, his sister's break out brought tears to his eyes and his knees gave out, joining her sobbing on the floor. He truthfully did not want to answer either, but it had to be done. Eventhough it was a very tiny chance, but what if they were calling because their mother was finally getting better?

"I'm sorry." He mumbled to his sister, wrapping his arms around her sick-thin fragile figure.  
"I'm sorry too." Rin apologized back, returning his hug with a similar one. What's got into her? Len only wanted to do the right thing, why was she so illogically mad at him? Why was she so angry and emotionally unstable like that? She did not know. Or perhaps she did know, but she couldn't stop herself anyway.

That was not the first time something like this happened, but frankly, it was how their everyday life went. Every so often, one of them would snap or break down, and let it all out on the other one. Every so often one of them would start raging hysterically, or become suicidal, it was no more than their new everyday life, and yet they could do nothing about it. Rin even liked to think that she didn't **_have_** to do anything about it. Wasn't it miraculous enough that they were still alive after everything they had been through?! They both freaking survived it! When their mother was condemned to death, or worse, when she became the specimen or the guinea pig or whatever the hospital's lab is working on, they survived! When their father had left them for more than three months now, not bothering to call them or send them money or food, they still survived!

Both of them managed to keep up an acceptable picture in public. They still went to school even if they didn't actually try to pay any attention, Len got himself a part-time job, Rin was in charge of the house chores, they didn't always manage to do a perfect job, but all in all they managed to survive completely on their own.  
And now what, she also had to bottle in all her rage at the world? She had to freeze her lips in a fake plastic smile all day long? She had to keep up her new routine like everything was going so smoothly and happily?  
No. All that crap she had to go through everyday had to leak out every now and then, or else she would explode under the pressure, and same went for Len. It was perfectly okay for them to go crazy on each other's and to go all suicidal from time to time, they were only humans after all.

As Rin's phone started ringing so annoyingly again, she grimaced, gesturing for Len to answer it, and got up from the floor running to their bedroom.  
She threw her weary body on her bed, wishing that she'd be thrown into her coffin for her eternal rest sometime soon.

Tears were not coming from her eyes, no, they were coming right from her heart, from her whole being. With every cry she let out her chest hurt, her whole body cramped with pain, her heart burnt harder with every beat ,and oh how she wished she could silence it with a stab or two.

Whether killing herself was right or wrong was beyond her messed up logic, but as long as Len was there for her, she had to be there for him. He was in pain as much as she was, and they both needed love and care, which in their case only they could provide to each other's.  
Everyone else was a freaking selfish moron.

Oh how she wished her mother would find out how much of a monster each and every one of their relatives was, including their father. At first, all of them showed sympathy, but inwardly they were as selfish as anyone else out there, they never actually offered to help, and even when they rarely did, they didn't really mean it, it was more of an etiquette thing. They never called or visited, or even wondered how could the two kids live on their own.

But screw those fools, Rin wasn't one to accept sympathy or need others' help to live anyway. She'd much rather die alone than ask them for help. And one day, when they will need her help the most, she would spit in their faces and laugh walking away.  
She wasn't abandoned, she wasn't alone in her world, she had Len, and that was enough for her.

With these thoughts, she felt somewhat satisfied and closed her lids, letting herself wonder into the world of nightmares, not that nightmares mattered anyway, she'd be facing much worse reality once she woke up, she was sure. Her nightmares would continue, asleep or awake.

* * *

"Rin, onee-chan wake up!" The gentle hand on her forehead felt so cold against her skin.

"Len, you're freezing cold." She muttered, with her eyelids half open.

"No, you have a fever, must be from the previous freaking out session." Len laughed good-heartedly. "You need to eat something."

"Look who's talking!" Rin mocked, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. " ** _You_** are the one who should eat. Have you checked your banana-yellow skin or toothstick-thin self in the mirror?"

"Well then let's go eat something, I bought us a thing or two on my way back from the bookstore I work at, and I also made us a…decent meal. Decent considering what we have in the fridge." He chuckled.

"What?! I slept for that long?!" She exclaimed, jumping up and racing her twin brother to the kitchen.  
"Duh! Bon jour sleeping beauty! Or perhaps I should say Bon soir!"

Rin was seriously hungry, and she enjoyed the meal her brother had prepared, with a light-hearted chat to go with it, she was finally in a better mood today, but she didn't know that her twin still had something up his sleeve.

"Er, Rin, about the phone call…" Len started, successfully catching the attention of his twin who swallowed the bite she had in her mouth and froze in her place, listening to her brother intensively, in discomfort.

"The doctors were clear with us from the start, they had already told us our mother wasn't going to recover or get better, that's no news to us…" The boy paused, phrasing the next sentence in his head "But now they say we can visit her if we feel like it, we won't catch the virus through the airway, it appears. They said they had been testing this discovery of theirs for more than a month now, and no infections happened so…we can really visit our mother!" He finished, hoping that it would actually cheer his sister and not bring her down instead. There was always the chance that seeing their mother helpless, weak, and almost dead wasn't going to do them any good, but on the contrary, hurt them more and drive them nuts…But he was almost sure his sister would love to see their mother as much as he'd love to, and sometimes love could hurt.

"Len…you're not lying are you?" Rin's face went blank for a moment.  
"I am not."

Rin could not name that which she was feeling. She had never experienced a more horrible cocktail of feelings inside of her before. It tasted like poisoned honey, so sweet and yet so bitter. It had her both longing and loathing, blue and gleeful, smiling and tearing up. Contradicting feelings clashed inside of her, leaving her heart cracked and weak, open to the attacks of whatever life had in pocket for her.  
But overall, she thought she was feeling good, whether that was a good indication or not.

"Len!" Rin jumped out of her chair to squeeze life of her twin brother who was now suffering for breath against his sister's sudden attack of love and happiness.

"Okay, Rin, I'm happy too, can you just let me breath please?" Len struggled to say.

"Oh sure, sorry." Rin dropped her arms, smiling full-heartedly at her brother. "I realize she will be asleep…" She said staring down at her hands in her lap, with a look of melancholy, "But I'm still happy nonetheless. So when can we go?"

"Whenever we gather enough money to go to Tokyo?"

"Yeah, whenever we do. Maybe I'll get myself a part-time job too so we could go as soon as possible." Rin's lips curved into a faint smile.

Len smiled back at his sister, feeling sort of happy and warm-hearted for the first time in a long while. Yeah maybe life was going to smile for them finally, even if it was a false smile.  
Their mother wasn't going to just magically heal somehow, but being offered the chance to see her again, they couldn't be really picky.

"Len, get the door, someone's knocking." Rin's voice derailed his train of thoughts.

"Eh? But it's already evening! Besides, nobody **_ever_** knocks at our door! I'm sort of worried." He could feel his heart picking up its pace.

"Together?" She offered, and Len only nodded in response.

As the twin cracked the door open together, a familiar warm voice was quick to reach their ears.  
"Len, Rin, May I come in?"

"Can't be!" Rin whispered to her brother in disbelief.  
If she wasn't **_entirely_** nuts yet, their music teacher from school was the one standing at their door. What?!

"Meiko-sensei ?!" The teens exclaimed at the same time.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you for reading the previous chapter. Special thanks for the reviewers, you always encourage me to keep writing.

* * *

The brunette covered the younger blond girl in the seat next to her with a blanket.  
The flight was going to take a few hours, and the twins were worn out both mentally and physically, so neither of them could resist the claiming force of sleep.

Seriously, Meiko wasn't even sure how did she end up on an airplane to Tokyo with two of her students; she had her own problems to take care of, she was tight on budget, and she wasn't **_that_** close to the twins, but despite that all, there she was offering to take them see their sick mother and back.

It all started a while ago when she noticed that both of the twins had been absent for a few days. One would think students may casually skip music class because of their lack of interest, but she knew better that it wasn't the case for the twins. Rin had always wished to have a career related to music, and she had one of the best voices in her class. Her twin brother also had such a heart-warming voice but he was of a shyer nature, Rin would literally have to push him to the stage to sing with her, but once he unsealed his powerful voice, notes would flow naturally and flawlessly out of his throat. Both of them were also able to play various musical instruments, and their hard work was quite notable in Meiko's class.

It was purely out of curiosity when Meiko asked about the twins to learn that they had been absent in all their classes. At first she was a bit worried and considered contacting their parents, but the next day, the teens showed up causing her to change her course of action.

Just as she thought her worries would finally cleared, the exact opposite occurred. It was as if the two of them weren't the same people anymore. They no longer participated in class unless they were forced to. They were always silent and spacing all the time, they'd fall asleep in class sometimes, and she could also notice a change of attitude- beside the lack of interest- towards a much more violent and aggressive nature.

Even their faces showed clear signs of a change; they looked quite pale with dark bags under their eyes, and they had dropped some weight; Rin's normally round face looked rather slim and lifeless to the young teacher.

Most likely other teachers did not notice their drastic changes, but since they were pretty bright and always active in Meiko's class, it was rather easy for her to tell that there was a difference.  
At first, she thought of talking to them, hoping they'd open up to her, but she quickly changed her mind, fearing it might be something she can't give advice on. Students usually look up to their teachers as grown-ups and role-models, but if it came down to it, Meiko had no experience in healthy, intimate or family-related issues if that was what happened to be the matter, and she couldn't risk ruining the image her students had in their heads for her.  
What if the twins opened up to her, hoping they'd find advice, security, and safety, to face a nervous and tense Meiko instead?! Hell, she might even cry! They'd think that even an adult cannot help them with whatever they were going through. They wouldn't know that it would be her fault, They wouldn't know that the 'adult' in front of them is wrecked beyond repair. She was the worst possible person for them to console, she knew that very well.

But she couldn't put her worries to sleep, and that's how she ended up asking the school's principle for their phone number so she can call their family.  
To find out that they were their only family.

Gossips were spreading like wildfire; you'd even wonder how could one miss it. Some say their mother had died, others say she was abducted, some think she's staying at a hospital, and even a few said she was under an experiment run by the government.  
One thing was clear; their mother was away, and their father was out of the picture.

But if she were to believe any of the theories, it was mostly going to be the principal's. He told her that their mother was being treated in The Public Hospital of Tokyo, and that their father was working abroad to provide money for her doctors and medicine (although that was denied later by the twins; they said he had 'fled'). It seemed the most rational opinion so she chose to go with it.

But the thought of two children being left alone in their house did not appeal to her in the least.  
And so, she decided to pay them a visit. For what purpose? She had not the slightest idea. She was so clueless and confused, not knowing what to expect at all. She had nothing in mind to say or to do so she could help the twins, but she still chose to follow her plan, and leave the rest to fate.

People wouldn't usually expect Meiko, the tough one herself, to feel insecure, but she was on the contrary very nervous that she couldn't knock their door at first; at such tragic events, she wouldn't know what to say, it was the same kind of anxiety and helplessness she'd experience when attending funerals. Her outer façade would definitely cover it up, she knew well how to fake confidence and coolness from all she's been through **_and_** from her work as a teacher, but she also knew she was rather fragile and cracked inside. Her self-acceptance and confidence were in fragments. She was only made of a tough solid coat on the outside, but on the inside she was shatters and trash and the remains of her former self.

But for the sake of the twins, she reminded herself. For the sake of these innocent children she'd easily gather her strength and bravery. She'd try to stay natural and not appear fake because they were both probably sick of the many fakes they must have met in the previous few days; the fakes who only show up when you lose a loved one or die yourself, to toss a few empty words of consoling they had memorized and overused without really meaning any of it, in a dramatic fashion. The type of people that really pissed her off. She had had enough of them in her life to not want to be one of them, she thought.

Meiko finally knocked the door gulping, but at first no one answered. It's Fate, she thought. The odds were against it. Maybe that was a sign that she shouldn't stick her nose where it doesn't belong.

But before she could turn her back, the door opened revealing two identical blonde children.  
"Meiko-sensei?!" They both exclaimed in synchronicity, their jaws open at her sight. Yes, that was to be expected. Who would guess their music teacher would come over so suddenly?!

However, the tweens quickly caught up and fixed their behavior. They invited the teacher in, and offered to make her tea, which she refused, not wanting to be a troublesome guest in the slightest; she was already an unexpected guest, she didn't need much more to upset them, or so she thought.

Despite her pessimistic and doubtful thinking, the twin were surprisingly easy to open up to her. They were very understanding and perhaps a bit too mature for someone at the age of fourteen, which wasn't a good indication; children at that age are naturally supposed to be careless and happy and oblivious to everything beyond their school drama, but she guessed their changes were inevitable. They have been forced to face much more than children their ages, meaning they'll have to develop into something different. Meiko knew that, she knew they will most likely be traumatized ,that their miserable life events will haunt them indefinitely, leaving them unable of acting normal anymore, but at least she wished they wouldn't crack under the pressure.

"He… he doesn't come over very often…" Rin said when she had asked her about her father, her large blue orbs sweeping the floor and avoiding Meiko's gaze.

"She means the bastard never showed up again." Len's cold remark was like thunder in Meiko's ears, but that wasn't very unexpected anyway.

"I…don't like to talk badly of him, but…" Rin's voice faded into a whisper. Tears were silently forming in the corners of her eyes and she kept her head down trying to hide them, but that act was unsuccessful against Meiko, who -like most teachers- knew so much about children. Meiko hugged the younger girl to her chest and gave her a kiss on the head, patting her back. Len was just watching silently.

"It's okay…" The brunette whispered.  
"May he rot in hell!" Rin suddenly shouted, her voice muffled from all the crying and from being buried in her teacher's warm embrace. Rin was very relaxed and calm in Meiko's arms, she even stopped crying and returned the hug; everyone had always said that Meiko was so motherly and kind-hearted and very easy to be around. Meiko guessed it was because of her love for children; these fragile young beings in the making, she always had this kind of love and caring for him, even if the actual reason behind her act was a melancholic personal experience that was engraved in the back of her mind forever. It wasn't for anyone's good, but on the contrary; a selfish, desperate, failing attempt to make it up for her own sins, to be forgiven and free of her burdens, which she had always known wasn't going to happen.

"Yes, yes, may he rot in hell, and be forced to watch cheesy school romance anime!" Meiko shouted faking a smug face.

"No! school romance anime aren't cheesy! They're cute!" Rin protested, breaking free from the embrace. Len laughed at his sister's reddish face and annoyed expression.

"No way!" Meiko faked a gagging expression. "Show me one, just one good anime that falls under that category!"

"Fine! Then follow me, Meiko-sensei!" Rin called as she dragged her brother with her to play her favourite anime on the computer.

"Meiko is fine, you can drop 'sensei' " Meiko assured in a sweet tone that made Rin pause and look back smiling.

"Now now, let's go, an awful anime awaits us." Meiko continued playfully as she messed with Len's hair, before she placed her arms on the children's shoulders.

That, indeed, was how she ended up on an airplane with them, even if she wasn't sure when exactly did she suggest that she could take them. But whatever made them happy made her too, she thought.

The young teacher finally decided to close her eyes and give up to her dreams tiredly, as if trying to lift up the tweens' spirits all day had been physically tiring and energy draining; she knew that even when they were laughing and playing around they still weren't happy, and they still needed comforting. Her vision blurred as she drifted quickly into a dream, where she was the young mother of a healthy blond twin. Hallucinating, she knew she was. But happy nonetheless.

* * *

Time flied fast and the trio finally found themselves in front of The Public Hospital of Tokyo. The children were nervous, not because they were afraid of hearing bad news or anything, but just because they weren't sure they were ready to take in the sight of their most beloved person in the world, connected lifelessly to a tons of tubes and machines.

"Are you staying there? Cause I wanna meet Lily-san, you stay behind if you like!" Meiko joked, patting the twins on their heads a bit violently.

"Have you ever worked as a wrestler?" Len asked matter-of-factly. Meiko only pouted at him in return.

"Last one to arrive is a rotting orange!" Rin announced as she raced the other two to the main door.

* * *

"Welcome to The Public Hospital of Tokyo!" A sweet voice welcomed them as soon as they entered the reception room, as the woman behind the wooden desk smiled at them

"We have been expecting you!" A green-haired young lady squealed, taking the tweens in a quick hug, but her too-friendly act seemed to offend them or bother them a little, or so Meiko thought as she noticed them stiffen a bit.

"I'm Gumi, a nurse, but you can call me Gu-chan if you like! Let me introduce you to the doctor in charge of your mother and then you can go see her if you think you're ready! You'll love Dr,Kamui, really! He's brilliant!"

"Gumi, our guests must be tired from flying all the way to the capital, I am afraid. Why don't we give them some space, and a bit of time first?" A calm kind voice proposed, as a set of two blue eyes came into the brunette's view, and she thought they were the sea itself in all its greatness.

Different shades of blue danced in his irises as the sunlight flickered around his face, they were giving the calming soothing aura of the waveless sea in a sunny day. They were dangerously deep, and behind them lied mystery. As She gazed further she felt as if she was drowning, as if time had stopped and she was enchanted. A kind and loving smile graced that face of his, with the right shade of blue bangs to go with the pair of orbs. She was way too lost in the charming details to notice the shorter, green-haired nurse leading the young Kagamines to a room where they could rest a bit.

The teacher's heart ached, it was a bit hard to breath for a moment, it was rather a pleasant type of pain until a stab of melancholic memories jammed her brain,… or her heart…or maybe both.

"Would you like a separate room for yourself, Mrs…?" The cobalt-haired male nurse asked.

Meiko quickly diverted her gaze elsewhere as her cheeks started gaining a reddish colour, much like her jacket. She sincerely hoped he hadn't caught her staring.  
"Oh, Mrs. Na-…" Meiko quickly pressed her lips together, giving a quick glance to the ring she was wearing, before hiding her left hand behind her back.

"Ms. Meiko. But you can call me Meiko, just Meiko."

"Alright, Meiko-san, I'm Kaito, a nurse too. The doctors may want to know your relation to the Kagamine children and ask you a several questions, but why don't you have a rest first?" Meiko just nodded, still not having full control over her awed gaze.

"Follow me please, Meiko-san." The blue-haired man smiled at her, and she just followed in silence.


	5. Chapter 5

Even though this was the third time for Meiko to witness it, the sight lingering before her still broke her heart mercilessly all over again just like the first time. Or maybe even more.

It had been quite a few months since the twins' first visit to the hospital, and yet it still felt like yesterday. The memory of how broken, terrified, and miserable they both were after the visit was still freshly vivid in her mind… How desperate did Rin's cries sound as she sobbed and prayed for a miracle to happen, how horribly did it affect Len's health –who bottled all his feelings inside his rib cage instead of healthily grieving- causing him to collapse and spend a night at the hospital himself… it all felt like yesterday.  
The second visit was just a replay of the first one.  
And there was Meiko about to watch that déjà vu for the third time, as the twins started tearing up yet again on the sight of their mother connected to the many beeping machines.

She couldn't take it anymore, she knew that her sadness was probably nothing compared to the twins' devastation, she knew that this wasn't neither about her nor about what she felt, that it didn't matter how sorrowful she was because this one calamity wasn't hers, that this was all about the twins and that it should have stayed that way,… She knew it all and yet she couldn't stop herself from feeling so broken and yearning for a relief of that misery.

Was she really genuinely sad and sorry for them, purely out of empathy? Deep inside, she knew it wasn't the truth, but a lullaby full of lies and deception that she liked to sing for her worries and scars to fall asleep. Behind the curtains, she was selfish for grieving for the twins' sorrow, wasn't she? Wasn't she just trying to gain some attention? Wasn't she desperately looking for sympathy and relieve for her own sorrows through other people's tragedies? She was the lowest kind of scum.

She couldn't take the madness of gloom and guilt inside her head anymore, so she pushed the double door with one hand and rushed out of the room looking for a calmer, emptier place to let out her inner storm, leaving the blond kids with the medical crew.

The small balcony looked inviting. It seemed like a good place to take a breath and let out the negativity. She lit a cigarette and leaned her body against the cold metal railings, bringing the deadly yet comforting item to her lips. Who cares if smoking could kill, wasn't she going to die either way sooner or later?  
The weather was starting to get chilly, the cold wind made her shiver so she tightened her red leather jacket around her form. The sky was dark enough to hide the trace of tears on her face and her red swollen eyes, and the cold could give her an excuse for her reddish nose.

"Miss Meiko?" A voice called from behind, startling her. She turned reflexively to face the owner of that voice immediately.

"Eh?" she let out at the sight of the blue-haired nurse before her wet eyes could look away. Specks of light were still gloriously shining in his genuine blue eyes even in the middle of the darkness.  
"You surprised me!" Meiko tried to laugh it off, praying with all her heart that he didn't notice her shameful appearance. She had to be strong, she had to fight the stupid humiliating urge in her to ask for empathy.

"A tough night, isn't it?" He said, looking away at the stars spread in front of him in the night sky.  
"We aren't always tough enough to face such nights alone, though. Working at the hospital used to break me down mentally when I first started. So much pressure and responsibility, so much guilt and sorrow, it's just awful to witness people's misery and not be able to help them. I had no one to vent off to back then, but you senorita do." He added, with a heartfelt smile.

She couldn't help but smile back at him in her shame, avoiding eye contact.  
"You're so kind-hearted. I wish I was like you, but I'm not. I'm selfish."

"Come' on, Meiko-san. You're the furthest thing from selfish! You've been keeping an eye on the kids and taking care of them for a while now. And you still call yourself selfish?"

"You don't understand!" She raised her shaking voice at him, her calm composure starting to crack, giving chance for her true emotions to leak out. "I don't even know why I am doing this! I don't know my own intentions! I don't know if I'm doing this just for them anymore! Maybe I am just trying to do what I had failed to do before…" she cried, her muffled voice couldn't reach behind the sound-proof doors, but it could reach beyond someone else's outer layers and all the way down to his heart. She violently tried to break free from the gentle hands holding her fists down, but the nurse was too persistent to let go of her.

"It's okay to grieve. When we fail something, we all try to work harder to achieve it next time, this is only natural…it doesn't change the fact that you're a good person. It doesn't change the fact that you care for the twins. It doesn't change who you are. We all need emotional support from others sometimes. It is a human need; it doesn't make you selfish. Does having the need to eat make you selfish?" he blue-haired nurse said as he stared through her pupils right into her raging soul, causing her to stop struggling to break free from his hold and trying to turn away.

"Is that what you really think?" she timidly mumbled.

"It is." He calmly answered as he took away the cigarette from her hand and threw it away where he couldn't see it anymore. "No smoking, nurse's orders." He cheekily added, with a funny superior look. Her fingers were numb from his gentle touch, she couldn't fight back and she let him take away the carcinogenic item. She looked at her now-free hands and decided to get rid of another carcinogenic item that had been poisoning her mind, no her whole life, for a long time. With swift moves, she took off the marriage ring she had been miserably bearing and threw it away with all the force her frame could generate. It felt like something heavy was finally lifted off her chest.

"Was he a cheater?" Kaito asked, handing the emotionally erupting brunette some clean tissues. She thought they smelled like cotton candy as she brought them up to her face to wipe the signs of weakness. It made her giggle faintly.

"I wish. I would have been able to blame it on him. But he wasn't." The nurse tilted his head at her words to show his curiosity, careful to not push the already-on-edge lady in front of him any further.

"Everything was perfect. We were happy young newlyweds." She spoke, a trace of instability still present in her tone.

"Soon after our marriage, I got pregnant." She continued, even though she wasn't sure why was she finally cracking up to a total stranger. Was it the magical charm his eyes possessed, or perhaps the calm aura he was radiating that slashed through the many layers of dirt and trash her rotten heart was buried under?

"As my pregnancy progressed, unusual signs started showing up. Ultrasound images showed the possibility of a defect within the baby, but we were told there was a chance it was a falsely positive result, and I chose to go on with the pregnancy anyway even though they gave the option of induced abortion. I couldn't understand how was anyone eligible for choosing to end the life of someone else, or how could anyone decide to kill a part of them they hold so dearly within. It didn't make sense to me. When it was clear the baby was going to be a boy, I decided to name him 'Kazuki', because I always sensed hope when I thought of him. I had the feeling he was going to be miraculously perfectly healthy. But I was wrong. I was under the false pleasing, hopeful effects of pregnancy hormones."

"The day he was born, I received the grimmest shock of my life. Everything became clear, Kazuki had Anencephaly, you know, the defect where the neural tube fails to close in due time." Kaito grimaced unintentionally at her words, his heart tightening with sadness. Being a nurse, he knew exactly where her speech was going. "I was shocked. Everything I had built in my head during my pregnancy suddenly collapsed. I felt guilty, disappointed, and unworthy of being a parent. It was my fault, I had my ex-husband to always haunt me like my shadow with that accusation, even if my therapist tried to convince me otherwise. I was neither a smoker nor an alcoholic back then yet, but my ex-husband thought it must have been 'my corrupted genes'. "

"He was born with no frontal or side bones. Doctors said it was fatal within a few hours or days. Kazuki was blind, deaf, and not able to sense or realize his surroundings in any way, as they said, but I liked to believe differently; I could almost swear he used to become calmer when I would circle him with my arms and bring him closer to my heart." She could feel her grip on sanity starting to loosen, and the ties connecting her to reality starting to break. The scenery almost shifted before her back to that day, blurry from both tears and her attempts to block out the heavy, depressing memories invading her being.

"Everyone was disgusted by his appearance. Including my husband and my in-laws. He would refer to him as 'frog eyes' and 'alien'. He always felt ashamed for being his father. I admit that Kazuki looked different, but he was very beautiful in my eyes, and I loved him a lot. I tried my best to provide him with the most intense care against the doctors' advice to 'let nature do the rest' , and it was very exhausting, but it seemed to pay off; the boy exceeded the doctors' predictions." Kaito had more than a thing to say, but he decided he wouldn't interrupt her.

"Before he could complete his second month, his father decided that he had had enough of us. He said that I had to choose either him or the child. He couldn't take it anymore, and I don't blame him. Taking care of someone with a fatal disability was really nerve wrecking and energy draining. It was like living a continuous life-long fight. I –obviously- chose to stick with my son. There was never truly another option in my eyes."

"And just like that, he left after we had a divorce. I always pathetically lied to myself and told myself that he would come back to me one day, and so I kept the ring, but he didn't. He left me to fight alone. Despite my unceasing fight against fate, Kazuki passed away in his fourth month. I was weak. I had failed him, being the unworthy parent I was.."

"It was inventible!" Kaito couldn't restrain his built-up anger on the piece of trash, her ex-husband, anymore. Meiko looked up from behind her flowing tears, startled by his sudden action.

"Please, listen to me,.." He added, as tears started flowing down his face too. "It was never your fault… whatever lies had he filled your head with, it wasn't your fault. He was just trying to relieve his own false guilt. Such diseases happen for no apparent reasons sometimes. Wouldn't you trust a medical employee like me better on this?"

The blue-haired nurse wrapped his arms around the crying figure, and brought her closer to his warmth. May it be as inappropriate as humanly possible, he didn't care. He wanted to comfort the fighter in front of him. He wanted her to feel safe and to accept herself. He wanted to immerse her in his love and make her forget her pain.  
"No one can fight fate on their own. Human beings were never meant to do that. We do not possess the power to do that." He softly said, brushing her short hair with his fingers.

The brunette silently buried her head in his chest, her tears hadn't stop. For the first time in what seemed like forever she was getting emotional support. She didn't feel undignified or weak to cry in front of him.

"My…Look at what I've caused with my stupidity! I have cause such a fine lady to cry! But I will not let you go to sleep sad like that tonight, please let me treat you to ice cream or something from the cafeteria, mademoiselle." He said with a fake accent, which she found rather adorable.

"I'm always hungry, so I'm afraid I won't say no" She answered, the ghost of a laugh following her statement.

Holding his hand, Meiko sensed a sudden, newly-formed, combination of trust, safety, and familiarity. Something she once thought she would ever experience again.

As they walked through the corridors, they passed by a pink-haired woman who seemed to be pregnant in the second trimester of her pregnancy, seated in a wheelchair. The brunette's orbs seemed to focus on her worriedly.  
"Don't worry, Megurine-san was only brought here today because she had broken her leg. She'll be fine." Kaito smiled at her, hoping to ease the anxiety he thought Meiko would feel for the other female.

 **'You're really the kindest, sweetest person I've ever met'** each one of them thought silently.

* * *

*Depending on its writing, (ki) in 'Kazuki' could either mean 'hope' or 'shine'.


End file.
